


A Reflection

by bubblemoon66



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Melodrama, Tumblr Prompt, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:58:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4367528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblemoon66/pseuds/bubblemoon66
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stephanie has teamed up with Skulduggery to help bring down Darquesse but she and the other Dead Men can't help but question Skulduggery's dependability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Reflection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [candycackenbush](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=candycackenbush).



> This is a fill for the tumblr prompt: "Things you said that I wasn’t meant to hear". 
> 
> It takes place after LSoDM but might be inconsistent with some of the things that happened in tDotL since it’s been a while since I’ve read it and my mind’s a bit fuzzy on the details.

Stephanie Edgley missed her bedroom. She missed the familiar sloped ceiling, and the old creaky floorboards. She even missed the loose spring in her bed that threatened to jab her in the back if she rolled the wrong way in bed. There wasn't anything particularly special about any of these things, or indeed, about anything else in her bedroom. She simply missed them because they were hers. True, they hadn't always been hers, once they'd belonged to a girl called Valkyrie Cain. But as far as Stephanie was concerned Valkyrie had given up the right to them, and everything else that was now Stephanie's, when she'd chosen a life of magic over a life with her family.

The bedroom she was sitting in right now wasn't hers. Her bedroom was homely, this bedroom wasn't. It had been designed with luxury in mind, and no expense had been spared when it had been built. There were silk sheets, velvet wall-hangings and a set of intricately carved sandalwood furniture. This bedroom screamed extravagance. It was also a tip. Stephanie's bedroom was neat and tidy. This bedroom had dirty laundry strewn about, sweet wrappers littering the floor, and even a half-drunken mug of tea going mouldy on the windowsill.  _This_  bedroom belonged to Valkyrie Cain. It may have been in Skulduggery Pleasant's house, but he had designed if for her, and she had gladly made it her home. Until she'd let herself be taken over by an evil super-villain destined to destroy the world, that was. And now Stephanie was stuck sleeping on a bed that was too soft and sheets that were too cold. Because somebody had to stop Darquesse, and she didn't trust anyone to do it for her.

She'd told her folks she needed time away from home to 'find herself' which couldn't be further from the truth. She knew who she was. She was Stephanie Edgley. An eighteen year old girl who graduated top of her class. Who had great friends, a wonderful family, and a nice safe ordinary life she loved. She was exactly who she wanted to be. But to protect that life she needed to stop Darquesse. And her best chance of doing that was by teaming up with Skulduggery. Which meant long periods away from home and lying to her family about her whereabouts.

Stephanie finished pulling on her boots - or rather Valkyrie's boots - and headed out of the bedroom. She'd crashed here after a late night hunting down a sensitive who was rumoured to know the whereabouts of Darquesse. It had taken four days to find him and ten minutes to expose him as a fraud. The discovery had left both her and Skulduggery in a sour mood. Another useless lead, another fruitless mission. She wasn't looking forward to the curt words and brusque looks that he'd doubtless give her while they headed off to the next one. It was like that every time they ran into a dead end. And the longer this went on the more disgruntled and desperate he became. 

The wooden staircase chirred underneath her footsteps as she made her way downstairs. The sounds of a heated conversation rose up to greet her. Skulduggery had company. He hadn't warned her there were people coming over. Hadn't bothered to wake her either.  _And why would he?_  At best he thought of her as a cheap imitation standing in for his partner. At worse she was an inhuman  _thing_  that had tried to kill he best friend, undeserving of his time or respect. 

"-and what about when you do find her? What then? Can we trust you to do what needs to be done?"

Stephanie paused halfway down the steps, recognizing Dexter Vex's voice at once. It was coming from behind a closed door at the bottom of the stairs, one of the many living room's in Skulduggery's house. 

"I think what Dexter's means to say is that he...  _we_  are worried that your feelings for Valkyrie are clouding your judgment. We need to know that when you do find Darquesse you'll do whatever it takes to stop her." 

Saracen Rue's voice was more level than Vex's but she could sense the tension lingering just below the surface. She'd heard this argument before, a dozen times over, and it never ended well. Both men were worried that when push came to shove, Skulduggery would be unwilling to harm his former partner. They wanted assurance that this was not the case. In her opinion they were right to worry. 

Skulduggery muttered something in reply. She couldn't quiet make out the words, but she could tell from the tone he was angry. Gingerly , she took another few steps down the stairs. Then stopped again, when the argument resumed louder than ever. 

"If that were true, it would never have come to this. You had your chance to stop her and you blew it. You could have stopped Darquesse before she was even a threat. But you chose to protect Valkyrie over protecting the world." Vex snapped. 

This time she did hear Skulduggery's reply. It was hard and cold. 

"I chose to give her the benefit of the doubt, and I was right to. If I had killed her when she first told me her true name then we would all be dead. The world would have ended with Melancholia or Argeddion or one of the other countless lunatics we've fought since then. She saved us. She deserved the chance to be saved in return."

If Stephanie had been invited to join in the conversation, she would have pointed out that Skulduggery's argument was irrational. He had had no way of predicting that his actions would save the world. Thus it was irrelevant to his decision. The truth of the matter was he had knowingly endangered the world, again and again, by letting her live. Everyday she spent alive was another day for Darquesse to grow more powerful. 

Vex must have been thinking along the same lines because his reply was bitter. "What's that matter, if she's going to destroy the world anyway?" 

"What would you have had me do, Dexter? Kill her right then and there? She was fifteen. A child, for God's sake! She hadn't done anything wrong. I would have been murdering an innocent girl in cold blood." 

"It wouldn't have been the first time, would it?" 

"Dexter, enough!" Rue cut in, before Skulduggery could answer.  "I don't agree with what Skulduggery did either, but what's done is done. Fighting about it won't get us anywhere. We need to focus on taking down Darquesse."

"No, we need to talk about this. If Skulduggery wasn't willing to kill her then, what's to say he will now?" Vex said. He was trying his best to keep his voice level when he spoke to Rue, but it shook, betraying his anger, when he turned to address Skulduggery. "I've know you a long time. I know you've done vile things in the past. Things you can't even admit to. But I have always believed that you did them for the greater good. I've always thought that you could be depended on to make the tough decisions that nobody else could.  The Skulduggery I knew during the war would have never have hesitated in taking out a threat like Darquesse. But now? I don't trust you to do that. You've changed too much. Valkyrie Cain changed you, and I don't think it's for the better."

"You're right, about one thing; I'm not the person you knew during the war, not anymore. I'm better than that. Valkyrie Cain made me a better person. I don't regret my decision,  I don't regret a single moment I spent with her, and I will never regret choosing not to hurt her."

For a moment there was nothing but horrified silence, as the weight of his words settled on the other two men. Stephanie wasn't surprised by this admission, but she could tell they were. Clearly, they hadn't realized exactly how deep this went. 

"You don't regret it?" Rue asked in disbelief,  "You don't regret the devastation? The destruction? The death? For God's sake, the world is going to end, Skulduggery, and you don't regret it?"

"No." his voice was firm, strong with conviction. There could be no doubt he meant what he said. Another silence followed, longer and more grim than the last, as they contemplated how this mess had happened. Stephanie knew what was coming and she wouldn't have stopped it even if she could. They needed to talk about it. They needed to grasp the gravity of the situation. They needed to recognize what she had discerned years ago. That Skulduggery Pleasant could not be trusted to kill Darquesse. 

Finally, Rue asked in a quiet empty voice, "Did you love her?"

"Don't be ridiculous." There was a sort of false calmness to his words, that couldn't quiet mask the cold fury concealed underneath. They'd struck a nerve. 

"Is it really that ridiculous? Because I can't think of any other reason why you would risk the fate of the world for one girl."

"Because it was the right thing to do."

"Right thing, my arse." Vex growled, "This was never about doing the right thing was it? This was about protecting your girlfriend."

"Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about." 

"No, I think Saracen hit the nail on the head with this one. Skulduggery Pleasant falls in love and to hell with the rest of us."   

"I said,  _shut up!_ "

There was a crash, that might have been the coffee table being overturned. The door was flung open and Skulduggery stormed out. His jaw clenched tight. Gloved hands were by his sides, curled into fists. He looked up, saw her standing there on the stairway. He was shaking.

"Get in the car, we're leaving."

He must have known she'd heard their argument. It was obvious she'd been listening in. But he didn't say anything. He just threw open the front door and walk out of his own home. She hesitated only a second before following him to the car. He turned on the ignition as she slid into the passenger seat and closed the door behind her. He put the gear box into reverse, pulling out of the drive without waiting for her seat belt to click into place. 

They didn't speak as they drove out of Dublin. Skulduggery kept his gaze fixed firmly on the road ahead, refusing to glance her way.If she were Valkyrie he would have insisted on stopping for breakfast. He would have asked her how she slept. Maybe even turned on the radio so the two of them could sing along. He definitely would have made sure she had been wearing her seat belt. But he didn't do any of those things, because to to him, she wasn't worth a second thought. She wasn't even a person, and she certainly wasn't Valkyrie. 

_Skulduggery Pleasant falls in love and to hell with the rest of us._

Stephanie was in wholehearted agreement with the other Dead Men about Skulduggery. His feelings for Valkyrie made him unreliable. Of course, she had known this for a longer than they had. Being a reflection, she had a certain insight others lacked. A logical view of the world, or at least Valkyrie's experiences, without the bias. She knew how deep the bond between the detectives ran. But unlike them, there was nothing to hold her back from admitting it. 

"They're right you know." she said softly, "Dexter and Saracen, they're right to question your dependability."

Skulduggery didn't say anything, didn't even look at her. But she could tell he from the way his grip on the steering wheeled tightened, that he was listening.

"Valkyrie thought she could count on you to stop her. She thought if things ever got this bad, you'd put a bullet in her brain. I told her we couldn't rely on you. That you'd hesitate, second guess yourself, look for another way. I told her you'd sacrifice the world to save her. She didn't want to admit it, but deep down she knew I was right."

Still, Skulduggery remained silent. A flash of irritation crossed Stephanie's mind. A brief annoyance at  being ignored. She should have been used to it, she supposed, but being treated like an  _it_ always felt like a punch to the gut. 

"There were a lot of things Valkyrie didn't want to admit. Not to herself and not to you." she continued. She could tell from the tension in the set of his jaw, she was straying into dangerous territory but she pressed on. He need to hear this. "The thing about being someone's reflection is you get all the thoughts, all the memories, all the facts, without any of the emotions. Valkyrie liked to suppress her emotions, but they were still there. They clouded her thoughts, distorted her memories, twisted the facts. I don't have that problem."

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked through gritted teeth. 

"I'm telling you this because I want you to understand that I knew Valkyrie better than anyone. I knew her better than she knew herself. So when I say I know how you felt for each other, know that I mean it." 

"You have no idea how I feel."

She laughed. It wasn't a nice laugh but she couldn't help it. "Of course I know. I have all those memories...all those moments your shared. I just lack the doubt that came with them. Valkyrie loved you. You loved her. But you were both too afraid to admit it."

If Valkyrie were here she would have scowled, her checks flush, and told her to 'shut up'. Stephanie may have been treated like a sounding board on many an occasion but introspection like this was off limits. It just wasn't talked about. But then Valkyrie wasn't here, and there was no one to stop her from voicing her opinions.

"Shut up." said Skulduggery. 

"No. Not until you admit that I'm right."

"What does it matter? Valkyrie is gone. I don't need you or anyone else to remind me of that."

"Reminding is exactly what you need! Because until you accept that she's really gone, you're a liability. I know how powerful Darquesse is. I know Valkyrie's not coming back from that. But I know you too. And I know that letting go isn't something you do lightly. You're going to keep fighting. Keep looking for a way to get her back. But you have to let her go! There is no Valkyrie any more. She gave up. Gave in. And if you can't accept that then you'll never be able to stop Darquesse!"

Stephanie stopped, short of breath. Her cheeks burned and her throat was raw. She hadn't meant to shout. It had just come out. Skulduggery was looking at her now. He was shaking again. The car had stopped moving. She hadn't noticed when they'd pulled over. Briefly, she wondered if he'd kick her out. But he didn't, he just sat there and stared at her. 

When she spoke again her voice was hoarse, "I... I'm sorry...but you can't save her this time."

"She saved me." he said quietly, "She saved me over and over again. She had faith in me. She was brave, she was kind, and she never gave up. She risked the world to save me, when she opened that portal. I owe it to her to do the same."

"She didn't do that because she was brave...or kind...or...noble or...whatever. She did it because she didn't want to live in a world without you. She did it because she was selfish.  _You're_  selfish. You can't keep putting her on this pedestal above everyone else. The rest of the world doesn't deserve to suffer so you two can be can together."

"I couldn't expect you to understand." he said gruffly, turning away from her. 

"Why? Because I'm a reflection? Because I don't have feelings? I know what love is, Skulduggery! When I think about something happening to my family, it tears me up inside. Losing them would kill me. That's why I'm here, telling you this. I want to protect them! I want to stop Darquesse! But I can't do it on my own. I need you! I need to know that your fully committed to stopping her."

"And what will it take to convince you that I am? What is it you want me to say? That I'll kill her? Is that it? Is that what you want me to say?"

Suddenly, she felt helpless. Unsure of herself. She shrugged and slumped back onto her seat, exhausted. "I don't know. I don't know if there's anything you can say."

"You, Dexter, Saracen...all of you are looking for an assurance that I can't give. And even if I could, you wouldn't believe me. What is it you want from me?"

Stephanie licked her lips, hesitating a moment while she thought about it. "I don't know... I... I guess I just want you to say goodbye."

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?"

She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of the cars drive past, as she waited for inspiration to strike. Skulduggery was silent while she thought. She dug deep through Valkyrie's memories. Recalling every second the two had spent together in prefect detail: The good times, the bad, the joking, the teasing, the flirting, the fighting. All those moments they had wasted. All those close calls. It was all there. Even if it meant nothing to her, it meant something to him.  

She opened her eyes and stared out the window. The cars and the clouds and the people, all passing them by. She took a deep breath. 

"When Melancholia... when she... when Valkyrie thought you'd died... there was so much she regretted not telling you... I imagine you feel the same way. So I... I want you to pretend I'm her. Pretend I'm Valkyrie. Just for a minute. Tell me everything you needed to tell her. And then we'll forget about this and move on."

She half expected him to dismiss it offhand. Treat it like some kind of joke. But he didn't. He was actually considering it. This surprised her. Skulduggery wasn't one for unnecessary sentimentality. Perhaps all their hounding had gotten through to him after all. Or maybe he was just tired of listening to her talk. She keep her eyes fixed firmly ahead, not daring to look at him, while he mulled over her suggestion. 

"Okay. If that's what you need me to do then I'll do it."

She'd expected more resistance. Arguments like ' _But you're not her_ ' and ' _What good will that do?'._ She'd been prepared to defend herself. To give him reasons like ' _I'm just like her'_  and  _'It will give you closure'._ It was almost unnerving how readily he had agreed to her suggestion. Maybe he really was going to do it just to shut her up. She supposed it didn't really matter in the end. 

"Right, go on then."

He took his time, collecting himself, before speaking. "Alright. Valkyrie, I... just want to say..."

His voice trailed off and he sighed. She didn't speak, letting him compose himself again. She knew what Valkyrie would have said in his position. She knew every one of those thousand things she had meant to tell him and a thousand more she had never wanted him to hear. When he was ready she knew he'd come up with something just as momentous. Something suitably witty and heartfelt. A grand farewell, overly dramatic, but full of poise and affection.

His gloved hand reached out for her. He touched her chin and turned her head gently to face him. His thumb brushed against her bottom lip. For a second she wondered if he would kiss her. She wondered what it would feel like if he did. What  _she_  should feel. But then he let go, his hand dropping back down to his side again. 

She met his eyeless gaze. It occurred to her that maybe the reason he avoided looking at her, avoided talking to her, avoided treating her like a decent human being was because he didn't want to mistake her for Valkyrie. She was a constant reminder of what he lost. Maybe pretending she was Valkyrie was the wrong approach. If he was trying to forget about her was this really going to help?

To Stephanie, his face was expressionless. Reading him was a skill she had never quite mastered. All she saw was a blank impassive skull staring back at her. Valkyrie could have read his expression. She would have understood. She would have known what to say in return. 

"Goodbye, Valkyrie."


End file.
